Friday, February 11, 2011

Identity Fraud

No, my wallet hasn't been stolen and no, nobody has hacked my pc (to my knowledge).

I am going through a very interesting phase in my life. Due to an "upheaval" in my family, I have been forced (not quite the word I'm after) to think differently. I have known for a while that I was not necessarily living my life for me. But now I am questioning exactly what is me and what is what people expected me to be. Confused yet? Welcome to my world!
Would I be who I am now if I had a different childhood? My three readers know exactly what I am talking about and if you are reader number four onwards, goodluck keeping up! Would I have followed the career path that I have taken? Would I have dressed the way I do? You know, I wear my hair in a particular way because I can hear a voice in my head telling me that I should never wear my hair down at school. Consequently, I never, NEVER, wore my hair down until relatively recently! Thats how powerful that voice was over me!
So, even though no one has stolen my ID this is a form of Identity Fraud. This voice in my head (it does actually belong to a real person) has stolen my identity and led me to live my life in a particular way. Its not all doom and gloom. If I hadn't have done some of things that I did, I wouldn't have met my wonderful husband or have given birth to the cheekiest and most gorgeous little boy.
But I am now questioning some things.

"A life lived in fear is a life half lived" - Anon.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

You know you are a mother when..

You are so used to being pooed. peed and spewed on that clean clothes feel wrong.
Sleep is such a long lost friend you forgot what he looks like.
Your washing machine becomes your new best friend.
Your makeup bag begins to gather dust.
Having a shower feels like a treat.
You only iron clothes that really (REALLY) need it.
You find yourself humming tunes, not from the radio but from the nursery rhyme book.
You have to add atleast 45mins to getting ready to go out and then still run late because you needed to change a)the baby b)your clothes because the baby spewed/pooed/peed on them or c) all of the above
You drive at the speed limit and abide by all the road rules.
You do housework (if you can!) with a baby strapped to your body (it was as if they never left the womb!).
Getting out of the house is a real treat.
You watch the news and suddenly realise that there is more going on in the world than nappy changes and washing.
But you really know your a mother when....
you look at your baby and he smiles right back at you and you feel such love and astonishment that you had a hand in creating such a perfect, healthy child and all else seems to pale into insignificance.

Sunday, March 14, 2010


People like to give advice. I have found, however, that a pregnant belly is a magnet for advice. Al of it unsolicited. There are different forms of advice of course depending on the giver.
The Professional
Of course, in my case, we are talking about the obstetrician, the GP, the midwives, the naturopath,the psychologist and later the paedeatrician. Most of this advice is good advice and, coming from a professional, you are more likely to apply it or atleast give it some serious thought.
The Husband
Also up there with the professional as he knows you well enough to pick when you need a gentle push or a dirty great shove in the right direction. He also knows (hopefully he has learnt) when to keep his trap shut, although, this is not a given.
Close Family
This is where the advice can become messy. Everyone has their own opinion and some are more vocal in expressing it than others. The ones that have done it before (our mothers) can be the main culprits here. This advice may come as a general hint or in some cases may just aswell have been written on a brick and it be thrown at your head. Some will try to shove the advice pill directly down your throat others will just leave it lying on the table so you have the choice. The other problem with Close Family advice is that times are always changing. What my mother/mother in law did many moons ago may be very different to what is done now. That is often a hard pill for them to swallow.
Not So Close Family
I am talking about the Uncles, Aunts, Cousins etc. Well, that advice you can mostly nod and smile at and then promptly forget it. Or you can make up an excuse to leave the coversation altogether.
This depends on the friend in question's background. Have they had children recently? Then you may want to listen. Are they single, never wanting to start a family and obsessed by their 12 cats? Then maybe nod a smile.
Other Expectant Mums
This advice can be brilliant! Two (or more) minds can be better than one right! We are all learning together and yes something may work for one and not another but we are all learning. We are all also getting a tonne of advice from every corner of the planet so we understand what each other is going through. This is the real sisterhood.
Yes, strangers. The lady you pass in the shopping centre who decides to unload her truckful of advice onto you as though she is the garbage truck and you are the tip. And although you may decide to avoid all contact with female strangers in the hopes that they won't talk to you, beware the men! They have also been known to get involved!
Work colleagues and associates are also known to dish out advice but they can often be grouped with the Not So Close Family category.
This advice that you get from all of the above can range from what sort of nappies you should buy to how to live your life after having a child including when you should go back to work. From the number of booties you should buy to how to express milk from your udders! (this was not advice from a professional either!). From which books you should read to how to bring up your child. Granted, some advice is good and can come from any one but most of it is down right rude or none of anyone's business.
I have always hated being told what to do and at 33 years of age I think that it is time that I was able to learn myself. I am actually looking forward to the joys and the challenges of being a Mum. I am enjoying the learning process along the way, but it is my learning process. I don't care if I make a mistake as long as I learn from it (and as long as it doesn't threaten the safety of my child).

Saturday, February 27, 2010

Maternity Woes

I love being pregnant! So you'd think that I would blog about the joys of being pregnant, yes? No! Blame my Pommy heritage but I am going to whinge!
Being pregnant brings out the best and the worst in people. Let me tell you about the worst. I went to a friends birthday party last night. I wanted to leave after about an hour! I knew that I would struggle to eat any of the food and drinking (alcohol) would be out of the question, so I ate something before we went and took my own bottle of water. Lucky! I couldn't eat anything but the vegies for the dip and the host kindly gave me a plain bagel (which was nuked so much it took 15mins before I could even contemplate eating it)and when it came to the drinks, I couldn't have anything. There wasn't even a juice that I could have (he only had a bottle of pineapple juice which not only do I not like the stuff, I am apparently mildly allergic to it!). As I said, I was prepared for something like this. I didn't know anyone there but the host and his best friend, an old friend from high school who happily spent the evening chatting away to us which was great as everyone else was dancing. Yes, dancing. I love dancing but it is not possible for this whale (said with affection) to be prancing around on the dance floor. So we were the only three (four) people in the room sitting and looking like party poopers while everyone else was shaking their tail feathers. The music was so loud (the host's brother has a pro DJ system) that baby wasn't happy and kept wriggling around so I suggested that we sit outside to get some fresh air and actually hear our conversations. This was all well and good for about five minutes until the first smoker came out. He insisted on sitting at the same table as us even though he had no interest in actually talking to us. So I went back inside, alone, sat down and looked like a party pooper again bracing myself and baby against the loud music. Then I went back out when said smoker came back inside. I was a little annoyed that I had to move for a smoker and that he didn't go somewhere else to light up (there was a whole backyard and front yard he could have used). I got another 10 minutes of conversation in and then the next smoker came out. Again, guess who had to go inside whilst this guy sat at our table. Its more than obvious that I am pregnant and I began to make it very obvious that I was leaving for the smokers. Eventually I ventured outside again and had a longer conversation with hubby and old high school friend. Then two women came out to smoke at our table. There was only one table outside but chairs in other places so these people could sit anywhere. I'd had enough. I went in for the third time, sat like a loser while the others danced up a storm and ate more carrot sticks. I wanted to go home. So when these two chimney stacks had finished I went out and asked to go home. Luckily hubby had been puting together our new kitchen during the day and was very tired so he was very obliging. But the question remains, why do people have to smoke near a pregnant woman? Or near anyone else at all but a pregnant woman? As I said, it is more than obvious that I am pregnant but why should i have to move? If I didn't they weren't going to and I'm not going to take any chances. People are so selfish! Its not the first time that I have had to move for a smoker whilst I have been pregnant (one woman was smoking in a smoke free area and I still had to take a wide berth so I didn't walk right into her smoke). Its not just the smoking that seriously bugs me. People try to push past you in shopping centres, they don't offer you their seats (although a lovely guy did today at Dome cafe), and don't even get me started on people touching my belly without asking and announcing what sex they think that I am having (yes, I am talking about complete strangers).
There are the good people out there too. The receptionist who put me before another patient when I was seeing my accupuncturist, the man in Dome cafe, students who help carry things for me (the students are the best!), the music receptionist who carried my basket all the way to my car, my husband for everything that he does (he is the very best!), my big boss for personally delivering instruments out to schools for me at the beginning of the year and my mother for puting out my washing for me when she struggles to do her own.
I love being pregnant. I just don't love some of the selfish and rude people out there that you meet along the way.

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Maternity Fears

I was sailing through my pregnancy without any worries. I wasn't worried about the pain or the labour. I had even gotten over the morning sickness and was enjoying being pregnant. Then the obstetrician told me today that I had a "bigger than average" baby. Great!!! Now how do I get the thing out?! I was planning on doing it drug free. I might just atten the epidural seminar now..... How does one's baby get "bigger than average"? I'm no giant in height or stature, neither is my husband. I have barely put on any weight during this pregnancy. To make matters worse, I went shopping afterwards. I bought clothes for my stay in hospital and a maternity bra. Like that helped!! Not only do I carry a bigger than average baby but my bra size has blown out!! How did they get so big?? I have my own personal airbags now! And I had to buy larger sized clothes (thanks to my 2 large gifts from the maternity fairy). I love my pregnant body but holy cow does it change and in a hurry. The clothes I can deal with but getting my baby out when it still has time to grow and its already bigger than average, oh man! Maybe I should start drinking coffee again to stunt its growth!

Friday, October 09, 2009


Why is it when you have some amazing things happening in your life, other people want to get involved?! I'm pregnant as my three readers now already and this is an amazing thing for us. But, why does a certain member of the family have to spoil it? (Not who you think guys). One member of the family firstly told other family members before we go the chance. Then they told extended family members weeks ago before I had even had my first scan. Again, we wanted to tell these family members. Now this person wants to find out the sex when we don't want to know! They want the specialist to write it down and put it in an envelope. I don't think so! How can anyone ask for this?! They cited that they may not be around in six months time. They are not dying of anything. This same person told my husband something on the day of our wedding that I was planning to surprise him with! I can just see them announcing the sex as I go into labour. Or buying baby items of colours that will give the sex away.
I am not happy about this request and I will not be bowing to it.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

There is a first for everything, I was just hoping that this one would never happen....

So I know someone who unfortunately has some issues. She has been in and out of psych hospitals which didn't seem to have worked. She returned home only to continue cutting herself, even in public. I saw the scars on her arms and that will not be something that I am ever likely to forget. It is a tough situation, she is on meds but they either don't work or she is doing all of this for attention. So how on earth do you deal with someone like this? Do you go soft on her and give her sympathy or do you go the hard line and tell her to grow up and get on with her life and be everything that she can be?
I am torn between getting upset and crying over this situation and screaming abuse (not at her of course!) because she is doing really stupid things.