Thursday, April 13, 2006

What type of vegetable am I?

I writing to warn the world of a new weapon of terror!! Its called "The Professional Development Day"! Watch out for them! If you see one, don't walk. RUN! RUN I TELL YOU!!! They seem harmless enough when they appear on your schedules but be warned! They are far from innocent. It is an opportunity for your superiors to render their minions useless. They have these torture devices called "presentations" that, no matter how hard you fight it, turns your brain from an intellectual treasure that should be up there in a jar next to Einstein's, to a blubbering molten mass that will take years to recover to half of its former self! Don't let the lure of a free lunch and chocolate fool you. This will probably include soggy sandwiches that, if you are not quick enough you will even miss out on crumbs (I have even seen people try to eat the platters they had come on - oh the injustice!) and year old chocolate that has a strange green tinge to it. And if you happen to enter the PD room and find giant files on the tables awating your eager learned eyes, FLEE! I have seen innocent people run screaming out of the building only to be brought back kicking and screaming, eyes mad with fear, strapped to their chairs to sucumb to the "presentation". No my friends, if you find yourself in this position, it is better not to fight. You are far better to let the "presentation" take hold of you than to struggle. It will be quicker and far less painless. At the end of the day. Special recruits come and scoop up your bodies from your chairs (or the ground depending on how bad the "presentation" was) and throw them out of the building to their fate. Hourds of vultures have been seen to appear outside of such buildings at the end of the day in the hopes of getting a feed. Some are lucky enough to escape the vultures and find their way home only to live their lives a shadow of their former selves.
Be warned world! Do not let this happen to you!

Saturday, April 01, 2006

Top Gun

My darling other half gave me a "learn to shoot" voucher for Christmas. It did boggle me a little that anyone would want to give their spouse such a voucher! Anyway, this morning I learnt how to shoot. What do you think? This was my fourth target and I was using a semi automatic Ruger 22/45. Not bad for a first timer huh? I'm thinking of framing one of the targets and I may also take them into work so that my charges can be scared....... very scared! What do you mean you haven't practiced?................